Sacred Friday Nights

The first day back to work finally came (after a year and a half off)... and went. I just finished my fourth week back at school since my leave with Grace and I definitely feel like a chicken with my head cut off most of the time.

Tonight was a rare, blissful, calm moment, hanging out with the girls and my husband and just hanging, with nothing on my mind and just enjoying them. Must be a Friday thing. Fridays are sacred to me for that reason. The pressure to 'have fun' or 'get stuff done' on the precious two days of the weekend has not yet crept in. On that note, the museum is on our agenda tomorrow!

The anxious feeling about the marking I didn't do or the prep I should have done that typically hits on a Sunday hasn't even crossed my mind.

Part of me wonders what the heck I was thinking when I was a new teacher and couldn't for the life of me understand why my colleagues with kids didn't want to try every new lesson idea or mark 30-60 giant bristol board posters! No projects bigger than 8.5x11 these days, that's for sure!

I still LOVE teaching though. Almost to my detriment (or even my family's detriment, sadly). I can't help myself when I think of a new way to approach a topic or find a new resource or activity to try out. I really need to reign it in this year and find a workable balance between work and family.

So tonight, instead of worrying about work, I'm sitting here catching up on correspondence, writing a blog entry, and a host of many other things I wouldn't even give a second thought to during the week. I'm sitting in a living room that looks like a tornado came through, with a sink full of dirty dishes at 10pm and don't give a crap because there are 2 more days in the weekend to worry about all that. I remember reading a blog post from a work-from-home mom who spent Fridays cleaning up and 'prepping' the house so that the weekend could be more relaxing and stress-free. I wish that could be me sometimes, but right now, I'm glad it isn't. Fall tv line-up, here I come!

To Run or Not To Run...

I had a blog post idea in the back of my head, a few months back, titled "Running Makes Me Happy". It wasn't written fast enough it seems, since I was told by my GP a few weeks later (about 2 months ago) that I probably shouldn't run. This didn't go over well with me, and it took me a while to come to terms with this advice, and then selectively ignore it. I still went ahead and ran the Sporting Life 10k race on May 1, finishing at a decent 1:09.

When I started a couch-to-5k run clinic at my yoga studio in September, I hadn't run since doing laps on the track in highschool. I have been fairly out of shape since I tore my knee and had reconstructive surgery, then foot surgery and 2 pregnancies. Excuses, excuses.

I love biking, canoeing, hiking, and dabbled in 'stroller fit' classes since my two little ladies came around, but none of it really impacted my overall cardio fitness level and weight. When I started the run clinic in September, I was really anxious and worried I might pass out before the end of our first 30 min run/walk. We started at 1 min walking / 1 min running and although it wasn't 'fun', it wasn't so bad. We gradually worked up to alternating 6 minutes running, 1 minute walking, for 5 km. Doing yoga right after helped alot with muscle tightness. I was extremely fortunate to have wonderful friends who I could run with, having the best chats with while we ran. I always look forward to running with friends. The time passes so quickly and I don't notice my tiredness as much. I also like running alone, though not as much, because I listen to music and imagine dancing to it (sometimes silently mouthing the words to the songs). Running makes me feel really good. I could sprint down the street without getting winded; I was losing weight and toning up, and sleeping so much better. I was very proud to complete a 5k race with my best friends in December (only 3 months from the time I wasn't running at all).  My reconstructed knee has always been a tad bit sore from running, but it is from many activities.

After winter subsided I started a 10K clinic, after a 3 week hiatus from running during some nasty storms and a head cold. The first few runs were okay but when we increased the distance by 1km a week, my 'good' knee started screaming. My GP sent me for x-rays, and the results showed  minimal degenerative marginal ostophytosis, blank likely incidental bone island on my tibia at the junction of the medulla and cortex, and differential would include other sclerotic bone foci including fibrous dysplasia. Ohhhhhhhhhh, that's what it is! Its so much clearer now. Argh! The advice of my GP after the xrays was as I feared: "running is probably not a good idea. It will only get worse. You need your knees for life. Try biking or swimming. If you insist on training for this race it will continue to hurt. You should stop running if it becomes painful." This all sounds like common sense, but it is a very hard pill to swallow.

I like biking, but you can't chat while biking, or risk riding into a pole while you turn your head sideways to hear because the wind is gusting in your ears so bad facing forward that you can't hear the person shouting. Swimming is even less social, with conversation completely impossible, and not very attractive because I have HORRIBLE swimming technique. I only recently learned that I'm supposed to breath out into the water during front crawl and only inhale above water, facing sideways. It explained alot about why I often feel like I'm drowning while swimming.

I did some research and found there are a few studies that show regular runners actually have a lower incidence of osteoarthritis in their joints than non-runners. Running and other weight-bearing cardio activities help flush fluid through the joints, which is the only way cartilage and ligaments can receive oxygen, possibly improving your cartilage. Proper stretching and strengthing are keys to preventing injury.

With all this in mind, I kept running, but listened to my body and didn't push it too hard, too fast. The pain subsided for the most part. I scaled back my training after that visit, sticking to 5k mostly. I had already registered for the Sporting Life 10k race by the time I got this advice, so I decided to try it and just walk if my knees got too sore. I finished the race doing 10:1 intervals running the whole thing!

My regular runs are from 5-7k typically, and I'm trying to include more biking now that the weather's better and I can lug my 100lbs of toddler in the bike trailer. I'm definitely not defeated by this diagnosis, but I'm still interested to hear what the orthopedic surgeon has to say about it in a few weeks!

What Every New Mom Should Know

So this doesn't sound like it will be related to keeping a million notebooks at first, but in recent months I have written countless emails with lists of ideas related to new motherhood. Right now I have 7 friends expecting a baby, and six of those are expecting between May and July.

I find myself thinking a lot about the decisions we made before our first baby was born, and in the first few months of her life. I feel lucky to look back confidently on a lot of decisions (especially the most important ones like choosing a midwife), but there are definitely quite a few that I would change if I could do it all again.

Its awesome to be able to share those hind sights with friends expecting their first baby. I'm sure they take it with a grain of salt, as any new mother should do, and as I did, because parenting styles are as unique as we all are as people. There are a lot of important decisions we made that were largely influenced by the network of new parents and trusted experts we had around us, but a good number of decisions were informed by online research too. The one place that tried to give us a lot of advice, but that we didn't rely too much on, was the store we registered for our baby shower at. It gave us list after list of 'stuff' we needed people to buy us, but as it turned out less than half of that stuff was really important or worth worrying about.

If you gather the collective wisdom of all the moms you know, you're likely to come up with a lot of great ideas. Take the most extreme ideas from either end of the spectrum with a grain of salt, and try your hardest to actually accept the advice that starts with "I wouldn't have believed this before I had a baby but...". What emerges is a realistic picture of what you really need for a new baby and what the experience will really be like.

It is awesome to see so many moms around me really supporting one another. Before my first baby I learned more from researching online and reading books than I did from real-life moms. If I'd taken the time to talk to more real moms, perhaps I wouldn't have ended up with too many clothes in the newborn size or 20 cutesy cloth bibs that were never worn, and may have asked for one-dish dinners instead for shower presents (which is my favourite gift for new parents ever since I had a baby myself). I would have found as much new baby 'gear' as possible second-hand, or tried to borrow it (like baby swings, bouncy chairs, exersaucers, bassinets, crib frame, etc.).

Who Will Bring Your Baby Into This World?

The most important piece of advice I followed when we found out I was pregnant was to use a midwife. I had three close friends use a midwife and rave about it. This is by far the best decision we made in preparing for our new baby girl.

Before we even conceived our first baby, I always imagined I would give birth in a hospital, maybe with pain meds, and anything else I saw on The Baby Story from TLC. My prenatal class instructor later regarded The Baby Story and What to Expect When You're Expecting as fear-mongering.  The labour & delivery of my first baby was as far from that tv-driven image of childbirth as possible. My first baby girl was laboured and born at home, in water. In the pre-baby years I probably would have viewed this type of birth as very 'out-there', 'granola' or 'tree-hugging'.

After a lot of reading I decided that a midwife was the smartest choice for me. They focused on giving the new mother CHOICE in her pregnancy and birth. Tests were not conducted automatically without consulting the new parents. Labouring at home as long as possible before birth, and returning home as soon as possible after the birth were a key part of the approach. Research has shown that new mothers are more relaxed at home and a more relaxed mom labours better then a tense mom in a foreign environment, where they may not be sure if its a safe nest or not.

I read that new moms and babies bond better at home and parents can relax more, have skin-to-skin time, and have a healthy start for breastfeeding, with regular support from a midwife who visits your home in the first 24-hours, 48-hours, 5 days and 7 days after the birth. The moms I knew who had used a midwife were incredibly satisfied with how the labour and delivery was dealt with by their midwife and felt in control of their birth.

Many moms I spoke to who had ob-gyns attend their pregnancy and labour loved them throughout the pregnancy (except for maybe the 5-min appointments in some cases), but the divide happened over the labour & delivery. Some moms didn't end up with their own doctor for the actual delivery, and those that had their own doctor didn't see them more than once every hour or two until the actual pushing stage. I can't imagine that experience for my first baby's labour & delivery, which lasted 37 hours and was delivered posterior. I'm convinced she may have been a C-section if I'd been with an ob-gyn and our recovery and wonderful start to breastfeeding wouldn't have happened so smoothly. I didn't have to take her out of the house until she was a week old and the only germs she was exposed to were those she had already experienced in-utero. Our second daughter was born in hosptial with our midwife, and I still wouldn't trade the home birth experience for anything.

On a Lighter Note...

My sister-in-law and I threw a small baby shower for our other sister-in-law last fall. A nifty idea that surfaced while planning that shower was to create a list of 'can't-live-without' items for a new mom and new baby. We put together a 'survival kit' for the mom-to-be with things like sensitive wipes, carter's onesies, lansinoh nipple cream and pads, a thermo-baby daphne bath seat,  a Pipallily toy strap and a few more things. It wasn't glamorous or cutesy, but the goal was to make life a little easier for my sister-in-law in the first few weeks of new motherhood.

Another neat idea for that shower was a photo-mobile with baby photos of the mom and dad-to-be, with some ultrasound pics of the new baby (to be replaced with real pics after she arrived).

Baby Photo Mobile

Once the new baby arrives, by far my favourite gift is one or two homemade dinners, ready to thaw & reheat, in one dish preferably. It looks like I'm going to have a lot of batch cooking this spring!

What do you think every new mom should know or ask? Click on "# Comments" below and let me know!

How Many Home Projects Are in Your Head vs. in Action?

I seem to have at least five projects on the go in my head at any given time. Sometimes I start making notes or lists about the projects, but it doesn't seem often enough that these projects come to fruition or get completed. With two toddlers in the mix these days, it feels like things get done fast and furious in the small windows when I have help to keep my lovely and demanding 1-yr old off my leg.

My most recent endeavour was a family photo wall. It was a Christmas present for my husband 2 years ago when we challenged each other to a limit of $30 while I was on leave with our first child. I collected unwanted frames and some dollar store ones and painted them all black. My inlaws and parents helped me collect some historical photos of our families, and I brushed them up and converted them to black & white in Photoshop. Then I framed them all while my mom watched my then 6-month old in one super-efficient evening a few days before Christmas.

It only made it on the wall 2 weeks ago. With a few new family members missing, two many photos crammed into a small space, and some very shotty hot-glue mcguivering (that's a verb right?) the photos finally made it to our hallway wall. The goal was to get it done in time for Family Day, when we had our siblings and parents over for our youngest's 1st birthday.

Everytime I look at the photowall I'm slightly dissastisfied. Its a bit cluttery, a bit skewed, but I'm starting to come to terms with it. This is an approach I'm trying to take with most projects in the past few years since we've had kids. Not everything (or hardly anything) will be perfect. Most things will be done in small windows of time or while juggling playing with toddlers, making food or picking up after the never-ending tornado that two toddlers leave behind them. But that's just how it is. And I'm cool with that. Anything that would take more time or attention probably isn't worth time away from my family anyways.

How do you prioritize your projects to keep it real?