Breast is Best

If you have no connection to breastfeeding whatsoever this post may be way too much.

When I was expecting our first baby, one of the things I did lots of research and made a few lists about was breastfeeding. I read Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding, watched his videos showing good technique  and had a lesson in our prenatal class where we practiced with dolls. All that still didn't prepare me for how hard breastfeeding can be.

The first 48 hours of breastfeeding were by far the most difficult for me (for both babies, because I seemed to forget a lot after the first). The baby is only getting colostrum for the first few days (not milk) and they start to get grumpy and impatient at how little is coming out, right about the time of the second night. It was a long, tiring, emotional night for us the first time, especially because we didn't realize she would be over-satisfied the next day when my milk came in (though my breasts weren't happy with the engorgement).

Grace fed for 2 hours after she was born.

I was so lucky to have fantastic midwives, who visited in the first day, three and five days after the baby was born to check on our technique in the comfort of home. Breastfeeding got off to a fantastic start with our first baby and at the end of the first week we had a great routine down.

When our second baby came along, I think I was a bit complacent about the whole thing. I didn't have the lie-in time that we did with our first, mainly because we had a little toddler running around, needing things. Also because there is this dangerous energy high driven by hormones in the first few days after birth that makes you feel like you have way more energy than you actually do, and that your body is much less worn out than it actually is. All these factors led to me not focusing carefully enough on good breastfeeding and good latch with our second baby. It led to her not gaining weight for the first two weeks.



My midwife Tama checking my latch
when we were still in hospital.

 My midwife put me on Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek, two herbs that increase milk supply, and leave you smelling like a curry dish (would be yummy if it wasn't seeping out of my pores). She examined my latch carefully a few times and didn't see anything obvious to point to why my baby wasn't getting enough milk. I was put on two days of 'bed rest' with the baby to slow down and just focus on feeding.  I was referred to the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic a few days later.

The visit to the clinic was amazing. They were so warm and inviting. I had a private room with two breastfeeding consultants who spent a while discussing all that had happened up to then, and talking about the characteristics of a good latch. Then I fed my baby, with them coaching on technique and making slight adjustments. The biggest 'AH HA' moment for me was when they showed me how to cradle her head resting my hand at the base of her neck (not on her head), to be able to maneuver her head more easily, and then to tilt her head back, pushing her chin into my breast. The effect of this technique was instant. If she had stopped feeding for a bit and I tilted her head back a bit, she would start up feeding again. All these details aside, I left the clinic feeling confident about feeding and knowing she was going to gain weight now. And she did, and gained 2lbs a week for a few months thereafter.

I can't thank the Newman Clinic and my midwives enough for helping me get back on track with breastfeeding. And I can't help but encourage anyone (new mother or not) who will be breastfeeding to read through their material and video clips to learn (or refresh) what a good latch looks like and how to achieve it.

I recently discovered that their clinic has lost alot of their funding, and is at risk. If you have ever used their website, books or videos to help you with breastfeeding and have the means, please donate whatever you can to help support other new mothers (or even yourself) and ensure they have access to this fantastic resource. http://www.drjacknewman.com/breastfeeding-help.asp

Spring Fever has Sprung

I think Spring Fever should be renamed Spring Crazies. I was talking to my 2-yr old about how nice it is that its getting warmer outside and we'll be able to go out more often without having to bundle up in so many winter clothes. Then I went on a tangent about how I'm going to start gardening and get all excited about it, then I'm going to get sick of it and hate the garden by June (maybe July).

That's how winter fever went too. At the start we bought skates for our 2-yr old, a new sled, went out into the blistery cold eagerly looking for a good sledding hill for a 2-yr old, and by January (maybe February) the novelty had worn off and we were frustrated by having to bundle up every time we wanted some fresh air. We went skating once, after lots of backache, and realizing there was no concern over her budding hockey career.


Outting last spring. This year will be easier
with a 2 and 1-yr old (not a 1-month old)



Being on extended leave with no income makes it a little simpler this year. We won't worry about buying new 'gear' for spring like ride-on toys, more sand toys (we have too many already), bikes (the trike hasn't been mastered yet so why bother with anything else yet), or new plants. Instead we focused on some $8 rain pants from Children's place, and second-hand rubber boots that fit. Just getting outside to trudge around the mucky playgrounds and splash in puddles is so nice. The musty smell of rotten leaves and earth revealed is lovely.

The garden will ideally get lots of mulch to control weeds and keep the water in, and maybe with the time I save planting new plants or pulling up sod for new beds I can keep the insane weeds (especially dog-strangling vine) under control this year. But again, if it happens, it happens. Its funny because I don't care too much about the crazy weeds down our path or in the veggie garden as much as I ridiculously wonder if our neighbours are appalled.

I'm still daydreaming about all the yard projects and spring cleaning I could work on, but I'm resigned to "if it happens, it happens". Like the outside of the windows that haven't been cleaned since we moved in almost 3 years ago. I'd like to blame in on living in a bungalow where all the windows are too high to reach, but what do people in two-stories do? Perhaps this year I'll strap my 1-yr old to my back in the carrier on a sunny day and my older daughter can 'help' me. If it ever gets done we may be awe-struck by our amazingly clear view.

What little time I had this afternoon has been eaten up by cleaning up after a play date, checking in on the blog and email and hopefully a short nap (fingers crossed). Maybe the spring cleaning will start tomorrow :)

What are you most excited to do as the weather warms up? Click on "# Comments" below and let me know!

What Every New Mom Should Know

So this doesn't sound like it will be related to keeping a million notebooks at first, but in recent months I have written countless emails with lists of ideas related to new motherhood. Right now I have 7 friends expecting a baby, and six of those are expecting between May and July.

I find myself thinking a lot about the decisions we made before our first baby was born, and in the first few months of her life. I feel lucky to look back confidently on a lot of decisions (especially the most important ones like choosing a midwife), but there are definitely quite a few that I would change if I could do it all again.

Its awesome to be able to share those hind sights with friends expecting their first baby. I'm sure they take it with a grain of salt, as any new mother should do, and as I did, because parenting styles are as unique as we all are as people. There are a lot of important decisions we made that were largely influenced by the network of new parents and trusted experts we had around us, but a good number of decisions were informed by online research too. The one place that tried to give us a lot of advice, but that we didn't rely too much on, was the store we registered for our baby shower at. It gave us list after list of 'stuff' we needed people to buy us, but as it turned out less than half of that stuff was really important or worth worrying about.

If you gather the collective wisdom of all the moms you know, you're likely to come up with a lot of great ideas. Take the most extreme ideas from either end of the spectrum with a grain of salt, and try your hardest to actually accept the advice that starts with "I wouldn't have believed this before I had a baby but...". What emerges is a realistic picture of what you really need for a new baby and what the experience will really be like.

It is awesome to see so many moms around me really supporting one another. Before my first baby I learned more from researching online and reading books than I did from real-life moms. If I'd taken the time to talk to more real moms, perhaps I wouldn't have ended up with too many clothes in the newborn size or 20 cutesy cloth bibs that were never worn, and may have asked for one-dish dinners instead for shower presents (which is my favourite gift for new parents ever since I had a baby myself). I would have found as much new baby 'gear' as possible second-hand, or tried to borrow it (like baby swings, bouncy chairs, exersaucers, bassinets, crib frame, etc.).

Who Will Bring Your Baby Into This World?

The most important piece of advice I followed when we found out I was pregnant was to use a midwife. I had three close friends use a midwife and rave about it. This is by far the best decision we made in preparing for our new baby girl.

Before we even conceived our first baby, I always imagined I would give birth in a hospital, maybe with pain meds, and anything else I saw on The Baby Story from TLC. My prenatal class instructor later regarded The Baby Story and What to Expect When You're Expecting as fear-mongering.  The labour & delivery of my first baby was as far from that tv-driven image of childbirth as possible. My first baby girl was laboured and born at home, in water. In the pre-baby years I probably would have viewed this type of birth as very 'out-there', 'granola' or 'tree-hugging'.

After a lot of reading I decided that a midwife was the smartest choice for me. They focused on giving the new mother CHOICE in her pregnancy and birth. Tests were not conducted automatically without consulting the new parents. Labouring at home as long as possible before birth, and returning home as soon as possible after the birth were a key part of the approach. Research has shown that new mothers are more relaxed at home and a more relaxed mom labours better then a tense mom in a foreign environment, where they may not be sure if its a safe nest or not.

I read that new moms and babies bond better at home and parents can relax more, have skin-to-skin time, and have a healthy start for breastfeeding, with regular support from a midwife who visits your home in the first 24-hours, 48-hours, 5 days and 7 days after the birth. The moms I knew who had used a midwife were incredibly satisfied with how the labour and delivery was dealt with by their midwife and felt in control of their birth.

Many moms I spoke to who had ob-gyns attend their pregnancy and labour loved them throughout the pregnancy (except for maybe the 5-min appointments in some cases), but the divide happened over the labour & delivery. Some moms didn't end up with their own doctor for the actual delivery, and those that had their own doctor didn't see them more than once every hour or two until the actual pushing stage. I can't imagine that experience for my first baby's labour & delivery, which lasted 37 hours and was delivered posterior. I'm convinced she may have been a C-section if I'd been with an ob-gyn and our recovery and wonderful start to breastfeeding wouldn't have happened so smoothly. I didn't have to take her out of the house until she was a week old and the only germs she was exposed to were those she had already experienced in-utero. Our second daughter was born in hosptial with our midwife, and I still wouldn't trade the home birth experience for anything.

On a Lighter Note...

My sister-in-law and I threw a small baby shower for our other sister-in-law last fall. A nifty idea that surfaced while planning that shower was to create a list of 'can't-live-without' items for a new mom and new baby. We put together a 'survival kit' for the mom-to-be with things like sensitive wipes, carter's onesies, lansinoh nipple cream and pads, a thermo-baby daphne bath seat,  a Pipallily toy strap and a few more things. It wasn't glamorous or cutesy, but the goal was to make life a little easier for my sister-in-law in the first few weeks of new motherhood.

Another neat idea for that shower was a photo-mobile with baby photos of the mom and dad-to-be, with some ultrasound pics of the new baby (to be replaced with real pics after she arrived).

Baby Photo Mobile

Once the new baby arrives, by far my favourite gift is one or two homemade dinners, ready to thaw & reheat, in one dish preferably. It looks like I'm going to have a lot of batch cooking this spring!

What do you think every new mom should know or ask? Click on "# Comments" below and let me know!

How Many Home Projects Are in Your Head vs. in Action?

I seem to have at least five projects on the go in my head at any given time. Sometimes I start making notes or lists about the projects, but it doesn't seem often enough that these projects come to fruition or get completed. With two toddlers in the mix these days, it feels like things get done fast and furious in the small windows when I have help to keep my lovely and demanding 1-yr old off my leg.

My most recent endeavour was a family photo wall. It was a Christmas present for my husband 2 years ago when we challenged each other to a limit of $30 while I was on leave with our first child. I collected unwanted frames and some dollar store ones and painted them all black. My inlaws and parents helped me collect some historical photos of our families, and I brushed them up and converted them to black & white in Photoshop. Then I framed them all while my mom watched my then 6-month old in one super-efficient evening a few days before Christmas.

It only made it on the wall 2 weeks ago. With a few new family members missing, two many photos crammed into a small space, and some very shotty hot-glue mcguivering (that's a verb right?) the photos finally made it to our hallway wall. The goal was to get it done in time for Family Day, when we had our siblings and parents over for our youngest's 1st birthday.

Everytime I look at the photowall I'm slightly dissastisfied. Its a bit cluttery, a bit skewed, but I'm starting to come to terms with it. This is an approach I'm trying to take with most projects in the past few years since we've had kids. Not everything (or hardly anything) will be perfect. Most things will be done in small windows of time or while juggling playing with toddlers, making food or picking up after the never-ending tornado that two toddlers leave behind them. But that's just how it is. And I'm cool with that. Anything that would take more time or attention probably isn't worth time away from my family anyways.

How do you prioritize your projects to keep it real?